Sex & Intimacy How Do I Tell My Partner I Have A Foot Fetish?
Worried about how to tell a boyfriend or girlfriend you have a foot fetish? Here’s how to break the news of your foot worship without scaring your partner away.
Foot fetishism is one of the most popular types of sexual fetishes in the United States, but despite the fact that thousands upon thousands of people worship feet in an intimate way, foot fetishism has a bad rap. Many people automatically assume having a foot fetish makes someone “creepy,” “strange,” or worse. And this can make it really tough for someone with a foot fetish to admit he or she has a thing for feet. Foot fetishists often worry their partner will be judgmental and may even decide to break off the relationship once they know their toes and soles are aphrodisiacs. Fortunately, the undue stereotype that foot fetishism is somehow disgusting is beginning to fade. But because the unwarranted scathing hasn’t completely subsided, we’ve put together a guide for foot fetishists that spells out how to open up about being head over heels in love with feet.
If you act embarrassed about what turns you on, there’s a good chance your partner will automatically go into judgmental mode — whether purposefully or not. One way to avoid this is to just be honest about your sexual interests in a casual, confident way. Saying, “Hey, I have a foot fetish,” is a good place to start. If your partner is mature, he or she will appreciate your direct approach and won’t make any assumptions like you’re “weird” or “creepy” for having a thing for feet. Just make sure you’re not about to have sex before you blurt out your sexual preferences. It’s best to talk about having any type of fetish outside of the bedroom, when your partner can mull over what you’ve revealed without the pressure of feeling he or she has to please you in that very moment. Give your partner some time to think about what you’ve said, and once you can gauge your partner’s reaction, you can move on to either step two or step three.
Hopefully your partner handled your fetishism reveal in a mature, understanding and perhaps even intrigued way. However, if he or she did not, don’t get discouraged. If you love your partner and want to stay together, the best way to react is to continue your relationship and sex life the way it was and not guilt him or her into giving in to your foot fetish desires. If you guilt your partner or pressure him or her in any way, there’s a large chance they will never come around to appreciating or enacting your foot play fantasies. Back off with the foot fetish talk and give your partner a few weeks or months to take in the news.
After some time has passed, try bringing it up again in a similar, non-threatening manner. Maybe try something like, “Hey, it’s been a while since I first mentioned that I really love feet. Now that you’ve had some time to think about it, do you feel any different about possibly wanting to explore some mild foot play with me?”
If your partner finally shows a bit of interest, you can move on to step three. But if you partner truly isn’t interested, this is the time to consider just how important foot play is to you. The question is no longer whether or not your partner will play along with your fantasies, but rather whether or not you can truly be satisfied without foot play being part of your sex life. Only you know just how important foot fetishism is to you and whether or not having a loving partner in your life is enough for you to happily go without foot play. No matter your answer, it’s important that you try not to feel mad at your partner for not being interested in foot fetishism; sexual desires cannot be forced, and your partner has just as little ability to control how he or she feels about feet as you do.
Provided your partner hasn’t thrown a tantrum, called you a freak and/or stormed out, then you’re in a good place. Any sign of interest in your fetishism — no matter how slight — is a good thing, because it shows your partner cares for you and is interested in possibly exploring what makes you happy. Here’s how to handle both outright excitement and hesitant curiosity.
- Scenario A: Your Partner Is Super Excited About Your Foot Fetish Reveal: If your loved one jumpes right on board with your foot fetish reveal and actually seems turned on by the idea, consider yourself outrageously lucky and get to foot playing! (Heck, if outright foot fetish support happened, you probably didn’t even continue reading this article, you rascal! Right on.)
- Scenario B: Your Partner Is Somewhat Curious About Your Foot Fetish Reveal: If you receive mild curiosity from your partner about your foot fetish desires, then ask if he or she would feel comfortable exploring foot fetishism with you. If he or she says no, then refer to Step Two. If he or she says yes, then perhaps suggest a few mild foot play activities like foot rubs or light toe kissing, just to dip your loved one’s toes into the foot fetish world, so to speak. Or perhaps suggest that the two of you research foot fetishism together online or in a sex shop and then try out what strikes his or her interest. Just remember to take it slow and never pressure your partner into doing anything he or she isn’t comfortable doing. Be patient, and in time, your sex life is sure to include plenty of fun foot play that will keep both you and your foot fetish desires satisfied.
Looking for more ways to bond with your partner? These ultra sexy spa treatments for couples will impress your loved one, whether the relationship is new or if you've been together longer than champagne and caviar. And while you're at it, you can answer any relationship questions you might have by looking at your feet. Don't believe us? Check out this article about how your soles and toes can reveal intimate details about your partnership.
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